Who Said It?

So I haven't blogged in a while. I'm sure if many of you are even reading still. A lot has happened in the past few months that I would love to tell you about in some future blogs but for now I want to play a game with you. I want you to read the following quote and post a comment guessing who wrote it. Next Thursday I will tell you who said it and add some comment to it. But for now read it and post a comment on who you think it is. Love, Joy & Peace

"Lord, my GOd, who am I that You should forsake me? The child of your love - and now become as the most hated one - the one You have thrown away as unwanted - unloved. I call, I cling, I want - and there is no One to answer - no One on Whom I can cling - no,No One. Alone. The darkness is so dark - and I am alone. Unwanted, Forsaken. The loneliness of the heart that wants love is unbearable. Where is my faith? - Even deep down, right in, there is nothing but emptiness and darkness. My God how painful is this unknown pain. It pains without ceasing. I have no faith. I dare not utter the words and thoughts that crowd in my heart and make me suffer untold agony. So many unanswered questions live within me I am afraid to uncover them becasue of the blasphemy - If there be God, please forgive me. Trust that all will end in Heaven with Jesus. When I try to raise my thought to Heaven there is such a convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives and hurt my very soul. Love the word it brings nothing. I am told God loves me and yet the reality of darkness and coldness and emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul. Before the work started there was so much union, love, faith, trust, prayer, sacrifice...I don't feel not even a single simple thought or temptation enteres my heart to claim anything in the work.

The whole time smiling...people pass such remarks. They think my faith, trust, and love ar filling my very being and that the intimacy with God and union to His will must be absorbing my heart. Could they but know and how my cheerfulness is the cloak by which I cover the emptiness and misery.

In spite of all - this darkness and emptiness is not as painful as the longing for God. The contradiction I fear will unbalanc e me. What are You doing My God to one so small? When you asked to imprint Your Passion on my heart - is this the answer?

If this brings You glory, if You get a drop of joy from this - if souls ar brought to You if my suffering satiates Your Thirst here I am Lord, with joy I accept all to the end of life and I will smile at Your Hidden Face - always."


Who do you think said it?